It’s finally here. Masters week! There’s no sense in wasting time with what you already know, so let’s dive in!
For those new here, though…
I’ve long thought to myself when reading bedtime stories, what is holding these books back from being engaging for the child while also informational for the adult? I think of things like “Explain to me like I’m five” or how Jeopardy star (and noted gambler) James Holzhauer became a generalist genius by perusing the children’s book sections of his local libraries. There’s a demographic market here, and I’m taking the leap to capture it.
Now, I’m not an author or an illustrator, but I am a dad and sports fanatic who knows a thing or two about golf handicapping. So please, let me know what you think about this concept as it transitions to reality - I’m open to any and all feedback! And while we’re at it, let’s find some winners!
Note: I’ve included links in the below to articles, tweets, and stats for a greater deep dive.
PRINTABLE DOWNLOAD OF THE STORY BELOW:
Hello, friends, and welcome. Welcome to our farm
Hogusta is its name, and tradition is its charm
The Pastures at Hogusta - the best week of the year
But who will be its Masters is yet to become clear
With green, green rolling fairways and birds chirping in the air
Who’ll end with the green jacket, which they’ll forever wear
There are so many to choose from, like Farmer Scott who won last year
By driving ‘round the course in a green tractor John Deere
Or the horses for the course, friends Jordan and JT
One’s already crowned with roses, but not the pony from ‘tucky
Now speaking of flowers, there is Justin in a row
Of Azalias and Magnolias, but none compare to Rose
Who serves the Queen of England and will always bend the knee
Just like Matsu-llama and his bowing caddie
Heading to the chicken coop, where Rickie Fowl-er likes to play
Will he serve breakfast for champions or lay another egg?
Oh wait, he isn’t scheduled to play on this date
So he’ll have to find his friends instead to celebrate
Francesco knows all about cracking by the brook
Quack! Quack! He cried and cried again when his ball took a duck hook
A hook is what is also used by a pirate for a hand
And those who chose to fly away to Never Never Land
Like Cameron the donkey with his long and snarly hair
Some might call him another name for a donkey that they share
Or Patrick Feed, the big fat pig, who throws Ts when he walks off
More, more, more! He’s very greedy, like pigs feeding at the trough
Min Moo Lee feeds from a trough but in a different way
It’s black and white, the difference of the spots he picks to play
All sheep in the Pastures follow the leader Jon the Ram
Who prays for wins with Hail Mary, who had a little lamb
There’s Patrick Catlay, the barn cat, and a golf ball made of yarn
He’s on the hunt for birdies at the Pastures by the barn
The golden good boy, Rory, comes racing from behind
But does he have that dog in him? The question on our minds
Last of all there’s Tiger, the Pastures’ reigning GOAT
Whose last win at Hogusta - the best story ever wrote!
Now let’s all watch the magic, while Dad sleeps on the couch
Making memories with family is what this week is all about!
FINAL CARD (and translation for adults 🙂):
Rory McIlroy - 10/1
Will Zalatoris - 45/1 EW
Brooks Koepka - 75/1
Justin Rose - 75/1 EW
Min Woo Lee - 125/1 EW
References included in this story:
As always, SkyHook's Twitter Account
Ben Coley's Player-by-Player Masters Guide
Dave Tindall's 10-Year Masters Trends
Anything Pat Mayo and Geoff Fienberg do this week